Not being as good as you think and being better not bitter.

Hello there guys, it’s been a while!

Anyways, you know the drill……. Get a cup of tea, pull up a chair and settle in, hopefully I won’t bore you to much!!!!!

So this blog comes a long time after my last one, truth be known I had actually written one ages ago but I just wasn’t happy with it. So this morning I deleted it and re I wrote this one, is this one any better? Probably not!

Anyways……

Something that never fails to shock me is the way people use social media, very recently I saw two posts being incredibly rude about the backbone of our sport, other wise known as volunteers. These volunteers give up their weekends for free so our sport can run, without them make no mistake there would be no sport. The first thing I noticed was both people were blaming the fence judges for something THEIR horses did. I honestly wanted to shake them, because if your horse can’t go to an event without stopping and whipping round because someone blew a whistle – maybe they shouldn’t be out in public? Equally if you can’t fall off in public without blaming everyone apart from yourself or your horse maybe you shouldn’t be allowed out in public either? Or if you don’t like the fact that people will remember your horse had a rotational fall, maybe don’t run it in public.

Are my words harsh? Maybe…

But I genuinely think it’s the truth, we are becoming a world of snowflakes where it’s totally acceptable to blaming everyone other than taking a long hard look at ourselves.

Last week I rode a fence badly because I was desperate not to have a problem at it, in turn my poor horse had a bad jump at it. But we both survived, I’ve learnt a valuable lesson and have not once felt the need to blame the course builder, the course designer, the jump judge or even my lovely horse who did an amazing job of getting us out of trouble. Sometimes being honest with yourself is hard, but unless you are honest things don’t change or get better….. Having ridden this fence badly at the weekend one of the first things I did was to look up the results and see if anyone else had had problems at that fence. Of course it was a relief to see other people did – but that was not my get out of jail card ‘other people had problems so it’s ok that I did’

Because I know my strengths and weaknesses, I know I should not have ridden that fence that way and I can own it.. I’m not looking to pass the blame for my mistakes, because I can own them, can see my fault, will try my hardest to never do again what I did wrong and hopefully will go to Ballindenisk, ride like legend and me and my wonderful horse will win the CCI2* 😝

Making mistakes or getting things wrong is not the end of the world, but not admitting your flaws just means you’ll continue to do them for a lot longer.

Recently I have been helping someone with their slightly not quite straight forwards horse, now even though this horse isn’t the easiest he is nothing but a trier who desperately wants to please. And this season the horse has flown, literally!!! His dressage is loads better and he is jumping all but double clears every time out other than the unluckiest of 1 pole down. Now his improvement is no flook, it’s happened because his wonderful owners/rider have done totally as I’ve told them, they have worked so hard and are rightly reaping the rewards. Something I have noticed since their change of form is how some people have found it impossible to just genuinely say something nice. There is always a negative in their comments somewhere, again I think that’s down to not being able to admit their own flaws.

There really is no shame in not being as good as you want to be, no one is….

But please be kind to the people around you doing better because trust me, a life with horses is like a rollercoaster – when you are low the high point is just around the bend and the people that were above you a second ago will soon be waiting for the high point to return.

If you have done a good job and are reaping the rewards own and enjoy it. Don’t listen to the negative, listen to the positive and if you aren’t doing as well as you could be – please don’t publicly shame others for your mis givings…

In a world of snowflakes be better not bitter.

Over and out until next time…

P xx

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