So.. I’m back, again!!! This blog is very personal so I hope you enjoy it..
I was sitting at home a few weeks ago thinking about confidence and what it really means to me…….. My thoughts inspired me to write them in to a blog so here are my musings, get a cup of tea, enjoy and I hope they don’t bore you lot to much!!!
If I was to ask you to pick 3 things that you need to get on in life what would they be? You’ll probably answer with at least one if not more of the below.
1) money 2) luck 3) talent
I can see the logic in that, I mean without money and luck you probably aren’t going to get far, same without talent.. If you aren’t good at anything you probably won’t achieve much, right?
I truly believe the greatest asset you can possess in life is confidence, no amount of money, talent or luck is going to help you if you can’t square your shoulders off, look someone in the eye and truly believe you deserve the high flying job, to be with that hot guy or to be competing on the amazing horse at that high level. I know so many people with all of ‘the 3 chosen things’ you probably think you need to get on in life and it just doesn’t happen for them, mainly because a large amount of them doubts themselves. I also know an equally large amount of people that charm their way in to lots of amazing opportunities, their confidence takes them places money, luck and talent can’t take you alone. However… Confidence rarely comes souly from within and confidence comes in 3 different flavours..
1) Genuine confidence 2) Fake confidence 3) Confidence from others
Neither is wrong but be very aware of what confidence flavour you are and adapt accordingly… I, for instance believe I have genuine confidence, of course I have wobbles but for the majority I’m very happy to stand on my own two feet. I know when I’ve done wrong and often seek advice from my friend Si but basically I am very happy with my flaws and not over thinking but still correcting my mistakes. In my humble opinion people with fake confidence tend to talk themselves up and others down. No matter how badly they have done they will make sure they find someone who has done worse! People who get confidence from others are (again in my experience) much more the norm and do the opposite as the people with fake confidence, they talk themselves and their achievements down and talk others up. Whichever flavour confidence you are make sure you have the correct people around you, if you get confidence from others make sure your circle see the good in the bad you do, not the bad in the good.
This will no doubt surprise people but most of my confidence has come from being around my dog Com’on… Bemused? Read on and I’ll explain!
When I was having a really tough time 5 years ago the one person who never left my side was Com’on, I really believe she knew I needed a mate to just be there. Not to tell me it was going to be ok and get other it. I needed to be sad and to be allowed to pity myself but not feel lonely and Com’on was the person who allowed that to happen. As I started to get back to myself and go out and about I was (and still am) taken aback at just how much confidence she has. We can be in a strange pub in the middle of no where with people she’s never ever met before yet she will walk in, work and own the room and everyone in it. She will get people to scratch her belly, feed her then simply move on when she’s done. On the VERY rare occasion she mets someone who doesn’t instantly fall at her feet she looks at them like they are weird and immediately moves on without a seconds backward glance or thought..
I remember once watching her almost in awe as she worked a room at a clients house, she was having a marvellous time getting just as she wanted from the people she met.. All the time I was thinking, why can’t I be more like Com’on?
Then it hit me – I can… Only I can stop myself from being like Com’on… The only ability I have that Com’on doesn’t (apart from the fact she’s super cute and I’m not) is I have the ability to over think..
Com’on doesn’t have the ability to over think so she only tolerates people that serve her well or that make her happy.. She never thinks why are they treating me badly or allows the fact they are to eat away at her. She only allows people in her life that treat her well and like a queen. If someone treats her badly, she has enough confidence gained from all the people that treat her well to simple turn her back on them and go back to someone who will treat her like the queen her quite confidence tells her she is.
My advice to people would to be more like Com’on when it comes to people and horses, if a horse isn’t looking to see the good in the bad you do and be on your side you have to take a long hard look at the partnership.
From watching Com’on I’ve decided life is all about confidence, enjoying the situation you are in and knowing your worth..
Remember – life is to short to not enjoy yourself, to not work the room or to not turn your back on those that don’t see the good in the bad you do.
So go square your shoulders off, look that someone in the eye and go get yourself the high flying job, that hot guy or get out competing the amazing horse at that high level.
Because you know what, you deserve it.
Over and out.
P and Com’on