Counting to 28, and morals maketh the friendship.

So I am back….. You all know the deal.. Get a cuppa, pull up a chair and prepare your good selfs for my ramblings…. One thing I promise you all this time is –  this blog (hopefully) won’t bore you!!!

This blog has actually sat in my draft box for around 3 weeks, I wasn’t sure if I dare publish it, I have been going back over and over it the last couple of weeks and I’ve finally decided that not publishing the original draft would be wrong. I pride myself in being straight down the line and why shouldn’t I publish it because it might upset a few people’s feelings who have shown very little consideration for others feelings??

So……

Very recently I have been reminded of how much I’ve grown up in the last few years, this is without a doubt because I have moved back to be close by my parents. The move was fuelled because of my parents planning struggles but I wasn’t at home long when I realised just how happy and settled they made me. Not only because I have everything I could ever want (my own living space and yard) but also because my parents go out of their way to look after me. Dad will always feed and check my horses if I’m away working or teaching and mum does my cooking, cleaning and washing….. But me being happy and settled here is mainly due to something else my parents have – their morals. You see my family are unbelievably peaceful, anyone that knows me will tell you that I have a sharp mind, even quicker mouth and whilst it takes a lot to make me lose my temper when I do – hell have no fury like me when my buttons are pushed. Something else I also admire greatly about my family is the way they conduct themselves – as I said, you’d struggle to find kinder more peaceful people but boy oh boy do they stand their ground. My family would never ever bitch or gossip about anyone, unless they were prepared to knock on their door and say it to their face. Same as if someone is saying mean things about them – it that situation they would go immediately and directly straight to the person and have it out. Face to face. Once sorted it would be forgotten about and everyone would move on. Also they are beyond loyal to friends. Without a doubt I get my loyalty to my friends from my family, anyone picks on or is mean to my friends or people I like and I’m savage.

Im sure everyone is aware of my heritage (traditional Romany Gypsy) and whilst I’m not saying it’s right, I still actually really admire that if a man has been speaking out of turn about another man, his wife or family – they would have a fair fist fight, shake hands at the end and that’s it done.  No bitching, gossiping or telling tales. I promise you my family’s way of living when it comes to this type of thing makes for a much happier, stress free way of living. Very few people gossip or are mean about others because gossiping is very rarely worth getting a punch on the nose for!!!!

My parents gentle souls have chilled me out no end in the last few years and last summer when I had someone being the usual ‘keyboard’ warrior on social media and saying very harsh and untrue things about me; lots of my friends couldn’t believe it when I did nothing and didn’t react at all. This is the reason I didn’t – because that persons opinion genuinely didn’t bother me and they weren’t worth my time of driving to their house and saying my peace to them in person so I wasn’t about to lower myself to their standards of posting stuff on social media for a loads of people to read, that frankly didn’t care anyway.

In situations were I feel myself wanting to react in away I might regret later (that quick mind and sharp mouth sometimes still get the better of me) I count to 28…… If it’s something silly I count to 28 seconds, something of some meaning, I leave it 28mins and something that really matters I leave it 28days..

I promise you that you will rarely regret not reacting in the heat of the moment, frankly most people are not worth reacting in the heat of the moment.

People act to get a reaction….. Think carefully about your reaction… You do not have to set yourself on fire to keep others warm..

And this is why when I found out recently that someone I classed as a good friend had been messaging the said above ‘keyboard’ warrior not only being mean about me, mocking me and my blogs but also happily spreading the ‘keyboard’ warriors gossip I didn’t react… I won’t lie, my blood was on fire – how could they stand in front of my face being nicer than nice then turn around and be messaging someone pulling me apart..

But you know what I did….. I counted to 28… minutes… And the fact was this, when I’d calmed down that person wasn’t worth the time or effort it would take to have it out with them, because frankly their morals aren’t like mine. I would die for my friends and certainly would never say anything behind their backs that I wouldn’t say to their face. I still see them and they are still nice as pie to my face (I could show them the screen shots and messages that prove keyboard warrior is nuts) but you know what, they don’t deserve it.. I shall let them continue to let make themselves look a idiot.

Sometimes I think their behaviour is because they are sad, lonely or both..

But then I remember that just as I won’t set myself on fire to keep people warm nor would I expect people to set themselves on fire to keep me warm.

Never lower yourself to other people’s standards, if people don’t have the same high morals as you…. Do as Elsa would – let it go…

Because morals maketh everything…………..

 

Until next time.

Xx

p.s .. Be warned, if you gossip to the gossiper they will more than likely gossip about you and what you gossiped maybe even the person you gossiped about.

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