Wanting what you wouldn’t have even if you could, remembering it’s not you, it’s them and cutting the cord..

I’m back… You guys know the deal! Get a drink, pull up a chair and prepare your good selfs for my bad spelling, even worse grammar and ramblings!!

So…… A good few weeks have passed since my last blog but in that time I have had and witnessed a couple of life lessons. Sounds corny I know, but I’ve honestly sat up and learnt more about myself and me friends in the last couple of weeks than I have in a very long time.

This year I went to Burghley to support a very good and certainly the longest standing friend I have. Now this was a big deal for me, you see I haven’t attended Burghley or Badminton since I last rode there. Pure and simply because I have no interest in watching other people riding, I don’t even ‘love’ eventing so I have never felt any desire to go. However, I have felt very guilty at not going along to cheer my friend on more often. So this year I decided I’d stop being spoilt and I would go… And you know what, I really enjoyed it! I loved just being around for my friend, did I help in anyway? Of course not! But I was there, I loved watching him ride and felt hugely proud of just what my friend has achieved, he was always the far better and the more dedicated rider out of the two of us, he always deserved chances, nice horses and good owners. I’m delighted for him that he now has them. Whilst I was walking part of the course on Friday evening I bumped in to someone I’d not seen in a while and the first thing he asked me was if I missed eventing at top level. I without missing a beat firmly and honestly answered with the words ‘not at all’

Truth is this, when I drove though the Burghley gates on the Friday I really thought I’d be bitter and chippy about watching people doing something I used to do. But not at all, I loved it all, walking the course, watching him cantering over the finish line. All of it, not once did I feel a bit of envy. Would I like to have a ride at Burghley again? Of course.. But it would have to be on the right horse because I love riding proper horses. I don’t love eventing. And I’ve ridden proper horses round Burghley and Badminton… No feeling can replace the one I had at my first Burghley with The Busker – I didn’t walk a single long route on the XC, that’s how much confidence I had in him. He was all heart, class and if you looked the word genuine up in a dictionary The Buskers name would be under it. Same goes for the feeling of power, scope and speed Little Tiger gave me, I honestly think she would have galloped until her heart burst and she would have jumped a house. I can never understand how people who have ridden horses like my two can then go and ride lesser horses. That probably sounds very spoilt but for me it would be like driving a Bentley, crashing it and then getting a Skoda just so you could keep driving. I don’t like driving that much either. I think and hope I am eventing my next 4* horse. If he isn’t good enough I actually don’t care, he’s a nice horse and I like riding him. He is more Bentley less Skoda. Fact.

On to my next life lesson…

Wanting what you actually wouldn’t have even if you could have it……

We have all been there, right? The man, the horse, the friend that we have lost one way or another. Well, I am probably the worlds best person at dealing with this situation, when it’s done it’s done. I cut the cord and am outta there. Trust me, you can never go back.. You can never truly get it back to what it was. Once the trust or confidence is broken, its gone and its impossible to truly get it back. In the past I’ve had people say to me ‘you can get it back if you work hard at it’  But why should I have to? Life is hard enough without having to work hard to get something back that should never have been lost in the first place. If I’m wrong, I have no problem at all about apologising.. But if I am unfairly wronged, then please shut the door as you leave. It’s as simple as that.

I see it like this, if a horse goes badly for you, gives you a bad fall or knocks your confidence get rid. Same with people.. If that bloke doesn’t message you back or messes you around or if that friend treats you badly, get them gone.

Because it is them not you, not all jigsaw puzzle pieces fit together. You wouldnt spend hours, days, weeks maybe even months or years trying to fit the wrong jigsaw puzzle pieces together, would you? Nor would you then break pieces off the jigsaw puzzle pieces to try and make them fit together. What you would do is this – once you realised the jigsaw puzzle piece you were trying to fit to yours wasn’t the right match you would put it back, get a new piece and see it that one fitted better.

Remember this….

If you wouldn’t have it stop wanting it, don’t break pieces off yourself to fit with someone else and don’t expect someone else to break pieces off themselves to fit you. Cut the cord and enjoy finding that jigsaw puzzle piece that fits yours perfectly.

Over and out…

P xx

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