Goodbyes…. Hellos….

Hey…

Guys , this isn’t so much a blog – it’s more of a brief thank you..

So I wanted to write this quick thank you to everyone who has supported and took time out of there day to read my blog..
I know my blog isn’t the usual type of blog thingy but I’ve had amazing fun writing it and long may you guys keep reading it and may it last!!

2014 has been a funny old time – I started it in a fairly low , sad and slightly odd place in my life , my god I’ve made some cock ups and mistakes this least year but you know what? I’ve made all those cock ups and mistakes getting myself back to me.. I think I’m ending it in a pretty good place and am every much looking forward to 2015 and what exciting things it will bring..

Now I’m off to bring in 2015 – it’ll be me on my own doing my own little thing in my own little way somewhere very fun..

But do one last thing for me – take a look around you , are you where you should be? Are you with the people you should be? And most importantly are you happy or just pleasing others?
Only you can change all the above , tomorrow is the start of a shiny new year and new beginnings but time waits for no man and life really is to short..

A massive heart felt thank you to one person in particular , to say we have been thou some odd , fun , drunkun and deep times together would be a understatement.. You will know who you are even if no one else does , just do one thing for me.. Keep kicking as your far to good not too…

Enjoy tonight but stay safe..
Over and out everyone…
Phoebe Xx

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Owning up , it all coming to a end and being a thinker….

So I’m back…

Writing this blog has had me in a real two and eight , I’ve recived some shocking abuse and more importantly lost 2 great friends over the subject I write about in this blog but hey ho.. You all know me well enough by now to know I write from the heart and not always from the head!

When I started writing this blog I knew I was putting myself out there to be shot at , mainly because of the way I am and the way I write – honest to a fault…
It’s a bit like my Facebook and Twitter accounts , I put stuff on them that some people wouldn’t and I get some amazing feed back and sometimes some not so great feed back.. But I try to never winge or moan.. After all it’s my choice to put myself out there and you know what? I love a good debate , love to make people think..
I’m known for putting lots of quotes on my twitter account , it’s never to get reaction – it’s just to make people stop and think.. Hopefully in the same way those quotes made me stop for half a second and think..

Now – on to the main reason I wrote this blog (other than to bore you all!)

Last week a video of a publicly adored horse surfaced on the internet and a debate started!!
Now I won’t go in to what horse it was or what was said as I’m sure you will all work it out for your selfs!! But I was asked on twitter my opinion , so I gave it..
My opinion that is – on that horse , on that video , on that night.. Nothing more , nothing less…

Well my god – little did I know what I’d done!

I got DM’s calling me a bitter old has been , even a wa*ker etc..
Quite a few of my followers took a right pop at me , most without tagging me in directly of course I’d like to add!!!
If you don’t like what I say why follow me?
Now I did not once ‘bash’ the rider like so many people did , because that is not and will never be my style – then a couple of my friends had ago at me about it all and if I’m honest that broke my heart a little and because of that I started over thinking what I’d written and let myself down by coming out fighting because I’d been in my eyes attacked by people I cared about and thought were my friends – when normally I’d have smiled and waved to everyone as I am allowed my opinion..
Was joining the debate my finest hour? Most probably not.. And I have now lost two great friends.. But I did at least stay true to myself..

One of my followers called me ‘the most opinionated old has been ever’
Well rather be called that than a ‘yellow bellied no body’ I guess!!
Its all done and dusted now , but I stand by the fact that you take on a horse loved by the public as much as that horse is and then parade it so publicly and you will come against people that don’t like you , it or what the horse is doing..
But you have to suck it up! Take the good press with the bad and move along..

Some people may forget just how loved by the public Frosty (Little Tiger) was , the sudden pressure I felt at the start at Badminton one year when a lovely couple of people came over and said they came to Badminton just to watch her warm up for the XC was massive! During that round I could hear people shouting her name at every fence and riders will tell you that you hardly hear anything whilst riding – that was the moment I released just how many people loved her , she made people believe anything was possible and that yes your little 14.2hh white pony might just get you to Badminton if you dream enough.. From that point on I always made sure I took time out to let people pat her and have photos taken with her etc as she wasn’t just mine and the owners wonder pony.. She was the publics wonder pony too!!

When we retired her the decision was made because of the things below and in that order..

1. Frosty did not deserve to be flogged round one more 4* because of our greed.
2. Her public wouldn’t want to see her at anything other than her very best.
3. We loved and owed her to much to ever let either of the above happen.

I wrote a post about her on the Horse & Hound forum after we retired her – google ‘Little Tiger retires by Phoebe Buckley , Horse and Hound’ I did when I was getting abuse a few days ago.. Choked me up , even nearly 4 years on..

I may just be a opinionated old has been but I will always be the has been that can have a opinion because she’s been there and done it and got the t-shirt on the one pony everyone wanted to have a spin on but didn’t get the chance because I was the lucky devil who did..

On Christmas Eve I was given the amazing gift of a days hunting with a famous pack I’ve never hunted with from the people I work for.. Then I found Colin with what looked on first sight his leg nearly cut off , god knows what he did it on as our fields have nothing other than a water bucket in them and post and rail fencing round them.. As he limped in from the field and I started cleaning him up I could see it wasn’t as bad as I first thought and he was just being a bit soft!! Horses!!
Anyways today I rode him out and led Custard off him.. Mid way thou our ride Custard attacked Colin!! Not that Colin cared , he’s the big boss man of The Oaks you see , I pushed Custard off Colin and we carried on with our ride.. Me smiling away to myself..

I was smiling as my plan to make Custard think he is top dog is working , when Custard came he was shy , quite and had no bite about him and wasn’t the greatest race horse I would imange because all of what I’ve just listed..
Colin is the sort of horse that demands respect – he will honestly eye ball you so to stand up to Colin takes some guts , guts that Custard is slowly getting!!
When custard first came I gave him a 11hh pony as a companion , it took him 2 weeks to be brave enough to boss the pony!! He now has Donna the donkey as companion as she is tougher than the pony and will give Custard what for.. But he can still be top dog so to speak!!
The dream with Custard is pointing and the Aintree Foxhunters – Custard had ability as a racehorse he just didn’t show it that often , but as always with me it’s all about a dream and via hunting , team chasing and eventing where he can be the bees knees without being told he must jump and gallop faster I hope to give him the confidence to shine a little more pointing than he did as a race horse under rules.
Most people will think I’m mad and doubt it’ll ever happen but you know what? Where there doubt there’s hope and where there’s hope there’s a chance and where there’s a chance there’s a will and I have will I just got to get Custard to have that same will as me and we are sorted..

So as 2014 ends and I go in to 2015 I have to face the fact I’ve lost great people but gained some people even greater.. Have had dreams shattered but have had new and even more exciting dreams begin..

More than anything one way or another I’ve kept the butterflies alive because life is nothing without great people , dreams and most importantly butterflies..

Stay safe people..
But remember – if it doesn’t make you nervous or give you butterflies your doing it wrong..
Over and out..

P xx

My mind set…

So it’s not very often I write two blogs so close together..
But in my attempt to finally bore you all to death I thought I’d go all out and write another…

All jokes a side now – I only write when I have something to say , I looked at loads of blogs before I agreed to start writing mine.. Most of the blogs didn’t feel heart felt to me , they read – to me anyway! Just like people writing to fill a space or writing what they thought people wanted to hear..

So I started mine and promised I’d never write anything because I thought I should nor would I set a time scale to stick to in between blogs , now I really struggle with writing , I really suffered as a kid with being dyslexic..
But the more I’ve written the more I have discovered how much I love writing.
I know I make quite a few spelling mistakes but I leave any in that I don’t see on my final read thou before putting the blog live as I like the fact the blog is totally ‘me’..

Mistakes and all..

On to what the blog is called – My mind set..

The subject of being brave on a horse was brought up yesterday – someone said to me ‘Phoebe I said you would ride it as you don’t care what you ride bad jumper or not’
It seems to me some people think I’m this crazy with no sense brave person on a horse.. Nothing could be further from the truth..
People would be amazed at how windy I can be on a horse at times , with me it’s all about reading a horse , I’m known for getting naughty ones going and riding anything and everything – again this simply isn’t true! With me everything on a horse is measured , With a naughty one I never start a fight I don’t truly believe I can win , I have often found the ones that really want a fight are the ones to work around because they know how to win. Being naughty is often just a bad habit if ignored will go away , ignoring means you can’t be frighted thou! You have to be able to be totally relaxed on them – no reaction… That’s what we all kick off and try and start a fight or argument for isn’t it? A reaction.. Why would a horse be different? It’s a living breathing being with a brain..
Equally I’ve had some horses that need a argument , they need that sort out.. For me that starts on the ground , if a horse doesn’t respect you totally on the ground how can you expect them to respect you once your on top?
For me everything with horses is about out thinking them , not just knocking them around or being stupid brave.. The first thing I do after going toe to toe with a horse is give them a pat , I want them to know I like them.. That I want to work with them not against them.. As long as they play the game life with me is great..

After the run away Moose (Freda Curtis) was injured at her three day event in the spring I lost my way , even thou I had other event horses to ride she was the horse I got out of bed in the mornings most looking forward to ride.. I wasn’t much fussed about eventing the others – you can call me spoilt , childish or even selfish! But it’s how I honestly felt , The Moose always gave me 110% and I loved her for that.. She in some respects reminds me of Little Tiger – although there will never be another like her!!!
I have always said if I didn’t have a horse to wear a navy coat on eventing (that’s intermediates and above) I would give up.. Again I may sound spoilt and brattish but please understand I only say this because I have been blessed enough to ride round some of the best events in the world on some of the best horses/ponies in the world at the time.. Why would I want to only canter round at small events? Again I’m sure I sound a right one! But I’m just being honest.. Find me a Gold Cup/Grand National winning jockey who would get the same kicks out of just riding in selling hurdles for the rest of there riding career..

In my own funny way I try to be a achiever , I can’t think of anything worse than riding at low levels being bitter about the fact I want to ride at the high level I used too.. Producing horses well is a skill , a art form even.. A rider can make or break a young horse and whilst I love doing the young horses , it’s always because I expect them to be competing at the highest level at some point with me or not at all..

This is why I choose to work pre training race horses rather than go be a second jockey at a big event yard (which has been suggested to me this year)
The idea of getting horses going for another event rider fills me with horror!!
With the pre training I get to be involved with getting horses going (which I love) but for a sport I have no interest in doing (flat racing)

I’m not a world class rider , I don’t even class myself as a good rider , I’m a rider who has struck it lucky more than once by being at the right place at the right time and therefore met the right people who own the right horses..

Over the last couple of months I’ve been feeling sorry for myself , I’d even say a bit down!! I’ve tried not to take it out on others.. Although I know I’ve put one close friend thou it a bit – but as I said in my last blog – I have tried to keep my head down and just let myself feel sorry for myself.. There was no real reason for how I was feeling , I just was..
Then 2 weeks ago I just seemed to start look forward to riding proper horses again , then just at the right time and thanks to a great friend of mine I am now the proud owner a pretty cool Ginger horse that I am now plotting to run in point to points..
I had a pretty shocking 2014 luck wise with horses.. But I feel like 2015 is going to be exciting and if it isn’t then I’m going to make it exciting.. The Moose is back , Jimmy Shoo is having the kick up the backside he needs and I have some very smart new young horses including Little Tigers super smart son to run along side my horses that enable me to carry on wearing wear my navy coat..

Anyways , I’m done boring you all for now – sure I will be back soon thou!

Just remember .. Don’t judge till you know , don’t start something you can’t see thou till the bitter end , don’t inflict on others what you wouldn’t want inflicted on you and be proud of your mistakes as they are what make you you and you are the very thing you should be most proud of.. If you aren’t then you are doing it wrong..

Have a lovely Sunday people.. Over and out..
P xx

Mind sets , knowing you and being afraid….

So I’m back!!
With not much happening at this time of year I haven’t had much to blog about!! Well nothing you all would be interested in anyways…

Usually me and Colin are really busy hunting on the run up to Christmas , but with the wet weather and adding in the fact I am flat out at work breaking yearlings in I thought I’d save him till the new year when I’m less busy and hopefully it dries out a bit!!

Anyways on to this blog – as I said there wasn’t that much happening in the world of me until an eventful weekend racing got my brain ticking…….. So here goes…

In the past I’ve briefly touched on my love for national hunt racing but I want to tell you a little more about how that love started and what it has to do with last weekend…

In the winter of 2004 I started riding out for a small trainer , it was only to make some pennies whilst my eventers were on holiday..
As I have said before – when I was a teenager I had been heavily involved with breaking in yearlings but I had never ridden , galloped or schooled a ‘proper racehorse’ so to speak!
To start with I didn’t really fit in even thou it was a very small but super friendly yard.. I just had no idea about riding short , holding horses or racing full stop really!
The trainer clearly didn’t suffer fools gladly and I felt totally at sea , totally out of my depth. But I tried to keep my head down , eyes open and mouth shut.. I was so keen to learn and everyone was so helpful and after a couple of weeks I found my feet a little..
Now the trainer was some character , to begin with I didn’t get or like him much to be honest.. But he was very fair to work for..
After the first couple of weeks he took more of a interest in me and my riding , he asked about my eventing etc , I told him a little about me and my eventing.. Not much thou – my outlook is to never talk yourself up.. No one is ever that interested in other people and if they are interested they will have found out what you do and how well you do it long before they ask..

This was indeed the case for me and the trainer I worked for!!

It didn’t take me long to work out what a shrewd cookie he was , the way he trained fascinated me.. He seemed to be able to improve every horse that came in to the yard in a amazingly short amount of time.. As I showed interested in the way he trained and his thinking behind it all he warmed to me , I will never forget how every horse was its own person to him.
He would say to me that his horses had to be like boxers , in there cornar so well and full of themselves they would take on the world.. It’s all in the mind he would say…
I had a life changing 18months there and I regret ever leaving , he was and still is a genius , he was mad on horses being 110% fit and jumping properly and also being straight over a obstacle.. The amount of bollockings I got for not pulling horses up straight after schooling still makes me smile! He scream – your a f**king eventer for god sake stay straight!!!
I loved schooling and he seemed to love how I schooled a horse..

I will never forget the first time I schooled for him..
It was on a real baby , but I decided to do it my own little way and not over think the fact id never schooled a racehorse before! I just treated the horse like any other baby I’d ridden and tried to let the horse find it’s own feet to start with at a slow ish pace but with me being positive , then I built the pace up each time we went down the line of hurdles as and when I felt the horse was ready.. When I finished he asked why I schooled the way I did and what was my thinking behind it – I said to him that I just didn’t see how a horse could be expected to think and jump for its self at speed if it couldn’t do either of those things slowly..
That was the turning point , he really seemed to respect my opinions and how honest I was about a horses jumping , he from then on really took me under his wing.. He taught me so much , an unbelievable amount about horses and how to try and the get best out of them.. But what he taught me more than anything and without him even knowing it was you must never judge anyone or anything and to think before you speak as you never ever know just who you are talking too or what they know.. I mean this so I thought to start with) was just a funny , slightly odd and difficult Irish man but really he was a genius…

Everything is just a mind set he would say.. Oh and how very right he was…

Ever since then I have been intrigued by that saying ‘everything is just a mind set’

Think about it – Why do some people and horses have that will to win and others not? Why do some people judge and others not?
How can some people and horses cope with pressure and others not?
He changed horses mind sets – he made them believe in themselves..

It’s all just a mind set isn’t it?
He was amazed at how even when I first started working for him and was feeling totally at sea with it all , I seemed to him that I was a cool as a cucumber , totally confidante on a horse and in myself..
He would say – Nothing gets under your skin does it?
Also he was surprised at how quite I was , how I just wanted to soak everything in , to learn..
People often think in person I’d be all full of myself and my opinions , when actually that’s as far from the true me as you’d get..
However silence isn’t a weakness , it takes a better person to keep a valid but unwanted opinion to themselves..

Although I’m sure when I was younger and not as wise as I am now I gave opinions that weren’t taken so kindly but I have never said anything that I then felt I should later apologise for..

Think before you speak , be prepared to own what you say or don’t say it at all..

But remember – you never know who your talking too or who or what they know…

In the years since I left his yard I have always come back to that saying ‘it’s all just a mind set’

I see it as this – if your really feeling sorry for yourself allow yourself too.. It’s only a mind set after all , it will pass and like everything – the more you tell yourself not to do or feel something the more you will..
Same when your happy , enjoy it.. Feelings are just mind sets that given time pass or change..

So remember life’s just a mind set, they pass… However words don’t..
Think before you speak and if you can’t think before you speak or own what you say best to keep your eyes open and your mouth shut..

Have a good one…
P